Advice from 10 preemie parents on surviving the NICU

When you’ve dreamed of taking home a healthy full-term baby, finding yourself thrown into the chaos of the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) with a tiny, sick baby can be devastating. Most parents are unprepared for the foreign world of the NICU, with its constant stream of beeping monitors, scary breathing machines, and invasive feeding methods. However, for every parent currently in the NICU, there’s a mom or a dad who’s been through the experience and survived it. We asked 10 former NICU parents what advice they would offer a new NICU parent, and here’s what they said…

“Keep a stuffed animal at home to sleep with; doing this helped me with the separation anxiety I experienced while the girls were in the NICU.”

- Ashley (mom to twin 28-weekers)

“On days when you feel like you can’t handle another battle, look at your scars and be proud of the battles you’ve already won.”

- Sara (mom to a 25-weeker)

“Be as educated as possible about your situation, and this will give you the confidence needed to be the best advocate for your baby… by gaining a better understanding, I felt more in control.” 

- Hannah (mom to a 25-weeker)

“Strive for acceptance. The thing that got me through the NICU was to learn acceptance. I quite quickly realized that I had no control and that within the blink of an eye things could turn from good to bad or from bad to good. As long as I could accept what was happening, I could handle the challenges that came at me.”

- Savannah (mom to twin 24-weekers)

“Share your baby’s story. By sharing your story as it unfolds, you can be a support and a comfort to someone else going through a similar experience."

- Sarah (mom to a 22-weeker)

“It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to scream. It’s okay to laugh. It’s okay to feel scared to hold them. It’s okay to stay by their side all day, but it’s also okay if you want to leave. My faith sustained me throughout this journey and showed me I could handle more than I ever thought possible.”

- Abby (mom to triplet 24-weekers)

“I’d highly suggest choosing primary nurses with whom you have a good connection. Everything in the NICU is so foreign, so it’s to your benefit to form strong bonds with the staff, who can keep you informed… I felt as though she was in the best hands when we weren’t able to be there, and that was a huge relief.”

- Mia (mom to a 26-weeker)

“My advice comes from my wonderful neonatologist – time and patience. I wanted to scream every time I heard this from him, but as time went on, I understood it more. Your baby will get there; they just need time and your patience.”

- Chelsey (mom to a 25-weeker)

“It’s okay to just aimlessly roam the aisles of Target. You need a mental break, and you have the most qualified babysitters you’ll ever have, so take advantage of the dedicated nurses and staff who are caring for your preemie.”

- Shelby (mom to a 25-weeker)

“Don’t feel as though you are a bad parent because you can’t be there with your preemie day and night. Make the most of the time you have when you are there, doing things like changing diapers and bathing your baby, so that you are prepared to do these things once your little miracle goes home.”

- Tanya (mom to a 27-weeker)