Bonding with your preemie in the NICU: How to become your baby’s advocate

Parents are encouraged to bond with their baby at birth, and for many this comes easy and naturally. However, for parents of preemies it is a challenge that leaves them understandably puzzled. You can’t room in, moms may not be able to nurse, and sometimes you can’t hold your little one for more than a few minutes at a time. While it can be scary to see your baby connected to machines, it doesn’t have to prevent you bonding with them. Last week we talked about how to connect with your NICU preemie by focusing on some of  the senses, namely touch, smell, and hearing. This week we have a few more tips on how parents can bond with their little one while they are in the NICU.

Be involved in your baby’s care

Be as involved in your baby’s care as you can be. As they get stronger, take on roles such as changing diapers, checking his or her temperature, and helping with bathing and weighing. There is much to learn to help you both be ready for discharge day. Even if you are unable to breastfeed or your baby is too small to latch on, be there for every feeding. If you can hold him or her, even better, as you’ll have more time to cuddle, provide a sense of security, and let your baby know mom and/or dad is right there with them, taking care of their needs.

Establish your breastmilk supply

If you aren’t able to hold your baby or breastfeed, you can still establish your milk supply and provide breast milk for your little one. The first milk, or colostrum, comes in over the first couple of days. It is usually in small amounts and can be hand-expressed even when you are using your breast pump to get your milk established. Colostrum contains substances that help protect your baby from infection and can be placed or applied in your baby’s mouth even if he or she isn’t feeding yet. Get into a routine to pump every few hours to keep up your milk supply and bring containers labeled with your baby’s name to give to hospital staffers so they can store your milk. Keep a picture of your baby nearby when you pump or even pump at your baby’s bedside, as seeing your baby can help increase your milk production.

Be your baby’s advocate

No one is a better advocate for your preemie than you! Become an expert on your baby by learning what makes him or her cry, what touch your baby likes and doesn’t, and what makes your little one feel comforted. Ask a lot of questions, and learn as much as you can about their condition. Learn the protocol and routine, get to know the NICU staff, and don’t be afraid to speak up when it comes to your baby’s care and well-being. You have the ultimate say in what happens to your baby.

Follow baby’s cues

Every baby is different and it will take time to get to know him, and learn his cues, so don’t get discouraged. Premature babies sometimes give confusing cues, so time spent learning how your baby responds is valuable.  For example, if your baby arches their back when you touch her, change or hold back your touch. If your little one turns away when you talk, but turns toward you when you sing, he or she is showing a preference for that sort of interaction. After a while you will know exactly what to do to make your little one happy. Don’t lose sight of how important bonding is for you and your baby. A strong bond between parents and baby is as important as any medicine.