How to bond with your baby when you're away from the NICU

Beginning parenthood in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) is difficult for parents. Their baby’s health vulnerabilities and the constant attention of doctors and nurses providing medical care can make parents nervous to bond with and care for their preemie. But it’s important that you do, because bonding helps establish the basis for lifelong mutual attachment between you and your baby.  Although the bonding process between you and your baby might not look the way you expected initially, you can still enjoy this special time with your infant. Decades ago, conventional belief was that the first hours of an infant’s life were a critical time for bonding – in particular, for mother-child skin-to-skin contact. After birth, mothers experience increased levels of oxytocin, which facilitates the bonding process.

However, research on bonding suggests that direct contact between mother and child within the first few hours of life is not critical; rather, bonding is an ongoing process, and no single factor can determine the relationship you will have with your baby.

In fact, bonding actually began before your baby’s early debut. At 24 weeks, the inner and outer structures of your baby’s ears were fully developed, and your baby became familiar with the sound of your voice.

At 29 weeks, your baby’s sense of smell was fully functional, and your baby was able to identify you by the unique smell that your amniotic fluid, skin, and breast milk share. Your preemie’s eyes may be closed most of the time, or their eyelids may still be fused shut – but when hearing your voice or smelling your scent, your baby recognizes that you are nearby.

Your Smell While You’re Away

If you’re not able to visit the NICU as much as you’d like, you can still rely on smell to facilitate bonding when you can’t be present. Here’s how: place a small, soft cloth or nursing pad against your skin, under your breast, ideally while pumping, and with your baby’s doctor’s permission, place that cloth or nursing pad in your baby’s isolette. Some parents like to swap out these cloths or pads so that they can have something that smells like their baby at home.

Your Voice While You’re Away

Your baby knows the sound of your voice, and likely your partner’s, and will be comforted by hearing your voices. Record yourselves talking or singing to your baby, and ask the NICU staff to play the recording quietly for your baby. Research indicates that premature infants who are exposed to their mother’s voice, either recorded or live, are less likely to have feeding intolerance and more likely to have better oral feeding skills and a lower heart rate.

While you may not be able to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with your baby, remember that there’s still a way to continue the bonding process in the NICU. By leaving behind your scent and recording your voice, your baby will be comforted by you!

References:

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3. Senses and the Premature Baby. Peekaboo ICU. http://www.peekabooicu.com/developmental-care-in-the-nicu/senses-and-the-premature-baby/senses-and-the-premature-baby/. Accessed March 19, 2018.
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5. Chorna OD, Slaughter JC, et al. A pacifier-activated music player with mother's voice improves oral feeding in preterm infants. Pediatrics. 2014;133(3):462-468. doi: 10.1542/peds.2013-2547
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