How to bond with your new baby: Tips for dad

Most expectant fathers understand the benefits of breastfeeding. Breastmilk contains nutrients and many bioactive elements, and it protects the infant from developing several diseases and conditions. However, after the baby comes, some fathers’ feelings about breastfeeding change. They still support it but may feel left out of the bonding process that nursing offers mother and baby. According to Baby Center, it’s common for dads of breastfed babies to feel some or all of the following:

• Worry that they’ll have a harder time developing a relationship with their baby than their partner will
• A sense of inadequacy, thinking that nothing they do for their child could ever compare to their partner’s contribution
• Resentment of the baby who has physically “come between” them and their partner
• Belief that because women breastfeed, they have knowledge and skills that automatically make them better parents

Tips to build a strong connection

It’s important for dads to bond with their baby early. Pregnancy & Baby lists some tips for dads to build a strong connection with their baby: Embrace “kangaroo care.” Babies benefit from skin-to-skin contact physically and emotionally, and dads can provide this wonderful experience as well.

Become hands-on. Touch is a baby’s main means of communication. Anytime the baby gets fussy, has a bath, or wakes up from a nap is a good time for you to get hands-on.

Carry your baby. Babies love to be carried, and it’s a good way to form a bond. Whether it’s in your arms or with a sling, pouch, or wrap, carry your baby.

Take part in bath time. Bathing is a great relationship builder. Some dads may be nervous about bathing a baby, but there’s no need if you just remembers water safety rules.

Cuddle or read to your baby in a chair. Sit in a chair with your baby on your chest, maintaining eye contact so your baby becomes familiar with your face and identifies you as a caregiver.

Take a walk. Bonding can be as simple as just going out in the yard with your baby or grabbing a stroller and walking around the neighborhood.

Dealing with the green-eyed monster

It’s normal for dads to be envious of mom’s relationship with their new baby, especially if she’s breastfeeding. Feeding is one of the most important aspects of caring for your baby, and if your partner is breastfeeding, you may feel as though you’re at a disadvantage. How do you counteract this?

• Be honest, respectful, and clear with your partner. Let her know your feelings and keep them out in the open. The worst thing you can do is to bury feelings of jealousy. It can make you resentful of both your baby and your partner.
• Talk to your friends who have children because chances are, they’ll be able to help.
• Create a date night or go for a walk with your partner.
• Get extra time with your baby by playing, putting your baby to bed, or changing diapers.
• Build a routine with your baby. You need your own way of comforting and connecting, so this may mean your partner needs to leave the room.
• Become part of breastfeeding by offering comfort, encouragement, love, and reassurance. After about the first month, if your partner pumps breastmilk, you can take turns feeding.