How to bond with your preemie in the NICU

One of the greatest joys of parenting is bonding with your little one. However, parents of premature infants might not be able to hold or snuggle with their baby right away. Being separated from your baby when they are transported to the NICU may be the most difficult thing you experience. And life in the NICU can be a confusing, stressful, and disorienting experience. But there are still plenty of opportunities for parents to connect with their preemie. “Even if you can’t hold your baby right away you can still let your preemie know he’s loved,” says Linda DiProperzio, contributor to Parents.

Be with your baby

Of course the easiest way to bond with your preemie is to be present in the NICU as much as possible, but many moms may have to remain behind in their delivery hospital while their baby is transported to a NICU at a different hospital. If this is your situation, be sure to get the direct phone number to the NICU from the transport team as well as the name of his nurse and doctor. Your tiny miracle will respond to your voice, touch, and even smell. There are a few things you can do:

• When your baby tries to open his or her eyes, use your hand to protect the eyes from the bright lights in the NICU as it will help them focus on your face.
• Your preemie can recognize your voice from their time in the womb, so be sure to softly talk, read, and sing to him or her daily.
• Mom’s amniotic fluid, her skin, colostrum, and breastmilk all share a similar, unique smell that helps the baby locate his mother. Take a small, soft blanket, a piece of clothing, or even a small stuffed animal and keep it tucked up against your skin and breast to get your scent on it. When you visit your baby, place it near their face, so he or she can get used to the smell of you.

Touch your baby

Don’t be afraid to touch your baby. When you are able to, the NICU staff will show you the proper way to hold your preemie. If he or she is in an incubator, you can put your hand or arm inside for a few minutes to touch your baby or hold their hand. Depending on how stable your little one is, you may have to wait to hold your baby. However, the NICU staff understands how important it is for parents to be close to their baby, so ask your nurse or doctor  to let you know as soon as you can hold him or her. Holding your baby close, skin-to-skin, helps him or her identify you are mom. Touch is critical for your baby and research has shown preemies that received massage therapy experience enhanced weight gain compared to those who received standard medical care. However, premature infants’ nervous systems are immature and they can tire or become overwhelmed very easily. Ask your nurse and doctor how to best touch your baby and how to read his or her “cues” to make sure the touch doesn’t become overly stimulating or painful. It’s important to be sensitive to how they respond.

Try kangaroo care

When you visit your baby in the NICU you may hear the staff use the term  “kangaroo care.” Kangaroo care is the practice of holding your diapered baby on your bare chest or between your breasts with a blanket draped over your baby’s back for added warmth. This is much like a mother kangaroo keeps her “joey” close in her pouch to stay warm, protected, and to nurse. Once your preemie is stable, ask about kangaroo care. According to March of Dimes, the skin-to-skin contact benefits both you and your baby. It can help your baby: Kangaroo care can also help you by: Initially your preemie may not be able to handle more than a few minutes outside the incubator, but as they get stronger, those periods will get longer. And bonding is an exercise moms, dads, and even grandparents can share. A strong bond is just as important as the medicine and sometimes the hospital staff is focussed on fixing the medical problems.  Insist on holding, feeding, touching, cuddling, and taking care of your baby, and be there as much as you can. Next week we will share more tips on how to bond with your preemie while he or she is in the NICU.

• Maintain body warmth
• Regulate heart and breathing rates
• Gain weight
• Spend more time in deep sleep
• Spend more time being quiet and alert, and less time crying
• Have a better chance of successful breastfeeding (kangaroo care can improve the mother's breastmilk production)
• Strengthening your bond to your baby
• Teaching you how to soothe and quiet your baby when they are distressed
• Increases your confidence when holding and moving the baby about
• Reducing your stress level